Mortal Gifts
by Ange Sinistre
Summary: After the disastrous raid on the Sato mansion, Korra isolates herself to reflect on the damage she causes to others in the name of justice. A new companion proves herself to be an ideal counselor. Light Korrasami.


_First time back to fanfiction in ages. The Legend of Korra just gives me a lot of feelings, okay? OKAY? Now, excuse me. I'm going to go vanish for years again.  
Post-Episode 7. Might as well get this in before the SS Korrasami gets torpedoed by the canon ships. If you enjoy, feel free to distribute elsewhere.  
_

**Mortal Gifts**

Korra had never been fond of meditation or reflection. It was a waste of precious time. A thought wouldn't change anything, and, while she lost herself in quiet introspection, her opponents would continue to gain ground. If she wanted something, she made it happen. No indecision. No hesitation. It was her double-edged sword.

When she found herself retreating to an isolated balcony on the Air Temple grounds, looking up at the endless stars above, she was forced to admit that she had been caught up in a moment of weakness.

The guilt weighed heavily on her shoulders. She had gone after her target with her usual reckless abandon. Her aggression had exposed Hiroshi Sato as a dangerous supporter of the Equalists, but at what cost? Several elite metal-benders had been captured, leaving Chief Beifong in a state of furious distress. She had strained her already tenuous friendship with Mako. She had torn a family apart. The hate in Asami's eyes had been obvious when Korra spearheaded the initial investigation, but now all she saw was a form of sadness that could only come from abandonment.

She'd gone off on her own after everyone had gotten settled on the island. She didn't want to deal with Mako. She wasn't in the mood for Bolin's humor or Tenzin's sage advice. She couldn't face Asami's sorrow.

She looked down at her hands, flexing them.

It was a crippling thing for a child to learn that they weren't quite human. Her body was only a vessel. Her soul? Her soul was something else entirely – she was the very spirit of the planet, forced to live amongst humanity in order to develop a sense of compassion. According to the White Lotus and Aang's scriptures, anyway. She wasn't a human girl named Korra. Not really. It was just a new body and a rejuvenated spirit.

Her guilt was irritating – as was the offense taken by her friends throughout the Sato investigation. She was the Avatar. This was _her duty_. She would never harm anyone without just cause. Balance and peace had to be maintained. Personal relationships couldn't get in the way of that. Why didn't they understand?

Maybe it was better to distance herself. Easier.

Relationships had been detrimental to many of her previous incarnations – to her. Koh the Face-Stealer had taken a wife away, and the remaining days of that lifetime had been spent in despair. A close bond, built on trust and brotherhood, had been established with Fire Lord Sozin. The sting of fatal betrayal was the only reward. She had no solid memory of the events – not without a connection to the spirit world – but they stirred underneath her skin during quiet moments. Maybe that was part of the reason why she didn't like meditation. Too many hidden memories.

"You've been avoiding us."

Korra was pulled from her mental whirlwind, and twisted around to see Asami standing a few feet behind her. Crossed arms. Neutral expression. Clad in her signature tailored jacket. She had walked up in silence like a hunting cat, both graceful and dangerous. Korra tried to read beneath the surface. Asami no longer appeared to be troubled by her sense of loss, and there were no signs of malice or aggression in her green eyes. Still, it was good to be cautious. The calm ones were always the least predictable. Mako lost his temper over the strangest things.

"Hey, Asami," she said, trying to sound like her normal self. "I guess it was rude of me not to join you guys for dinner. I'm sorry. Just working on that whole meditation thing. Tenzin seems to think it's important."

"You've been missing meals for the last few days," Asami pressed. "Are you all right?"

Korra cracked a fake smile, though her voice lacked conviction. "Always!"

The boys had made similar inquiries since their arrival on the island, but they were put at ease by Korra's outward displays of friendliness. Seeing that she wasn't an obvious wreck, they gave her the space she desired. The Air Temple was her sacred training ground, after all. It wasn't the gym. There was a higher purpose here, beyond them, and they had to be mindful of her needs.

Asami was not buying the act. She walked forward, onto the balcony, and sat down in front of Korra. Not beside, as would be custom for an act of quiet support, but directly across from her – staring at her. Unavoidable confrontation. There was a moment of challenging silence as both women waited for the other to make the first conversational move. Asami gave in.

"Am I intruding?"

Korra shook her head. "No."

"You look uncomfortable."

"Oh, no, that's what I always look like."

Asami didn't react – just continued to stare in that patient, knowing way. "I don't blame you for what happened, if that's what drove you away."

No point in hiding now. Korra released a heavy sigh, and her face fell. "I'm sorry. I should have handled things with more delicacy. I'm not so good at that, if you haven't noticed. Being delicate isn't one of my major skills."

"Getting bogged down in diplomatic bureaucracy would have given my father more time to distribute weapons to the radicals tearing apart this city. We failed to apprehend him, but we threw a wrench into his plans. He brought this upon himself," Asami said, showing a bit of steel behind her eyes. "I'm the one that should apologize for my hostility. You were doing your job. I had a knee-jerk defensive reaction."

Korra could have left it at that – told her to just forget about what happened – but something urged her to explain. "I wouldn't let personal matters get in the way of my duties. I need you to know that. It was never about you or Mako. Or me and Mako. Or you and me."

Asami smiled. "Good. You and I were starting to finally get along. I wouldn't want to ruin that." She nodded toward the main residence. "Let's go back inside, then."

"You go ahead. I'm fine."

"What else is troubling you?"

Korra laughed – a nervous reaction. "Sounds like someone wants to start a career as a shrink."

"You have to keep your options open in a tough job market," Asami said. "So, tell me."

There was no reason to obey her, but it was a tempting offer. Mako and Bolin were great companions, but they weren't always the best counselors. Bolin tried to brush off everything with jokes and find a distraction from the real problem. Mako was less interested in offering a sympathetic ear and more interested in rushing out to fix whatever was wrong. Asami was in the same age range, but she carried herself with a mature strength that the rest of them didn't have, and didn't have the air of intimidation that the genuine adults often possessed. She wouldn't laugh at her. She wouldn't dismiss the problem. She'd sit there and listen.

"I think it might be best if I distance myself from the group."

Asami raised her eyebrows. "Your boys will be heartbroken. Why?"

"I know nothing was meant by it, and everything's better now, but the investigation reminded me that keeping personal ties to a minimum is probably ideal. I'm supposed to be a neutral force. I keep trampling over everyone's feelings. The guilt isn't helpful."

"You want to face everything alone, then?"

Korra looked away. "Yes. No. It's difficult to explain."

"I've got all night. Try me."

She took a deep breath. "I don't... want to hurt other people. That's all I've been doing since I came to the city. I've thrown everything out of balance because I'm getting sidetracked by my feelings and bravado. I need to focus. That's why I can't reach the Avatar state." She looked down at her hands. "I'd love for there to be someone. I keep trying to cling to people. There's probably no such thing for me. I'm not a normal person. I'm not a person at all, really. Just a vessel."

"You look real enough to me."

"The spirit got shoved into a walking meat-sack. Big deal." Korra paused, then gave her a bittersweet smile. "You know, when I was growing up, I used to imagine that the Avatar had a companion spirit – a soul mate that would always be there for each and every incarnation. Like how there are two moon spirits. The dream came crashing down pretty hard."

Asami shifted closer. "Why?"

She snorted. "I met Katara. If the souls were bound, she'd have gone with Aang. I'd have gotten my own mate. That's not how it works, obviously. It's strange knowing that the love of your previous life and multiple lines of your descendants are still around. The Avatars become slaves to personal desire. We take a human spouse, if we so choose. That's it – not very romantic when you look at the long view. Sometimes I try to convince myself otherwise, but it doesn't do much good. It's easier to focus on fighting."

Asami paused, trying to find the proper words. "If what the priests say is true, then don't we all experience multiple lifetimes? And, even if our souls are a bit different, don't we all stem from the same source? A rock is different from a leaf, but they're made up of the same basic materials. They're still interconnected. Everything is."

Korra couldn't hide her surprise. "You didn't strike me as a spiritual person. You seemed more... mechanical."

"When you lose loved ones, you sometimes re-evaluate your beliefs."

She wouldn't dare press that subject. "Well, I guess that's one way of looking at it."

"Our flesh is the same." Asami reached forward and took Korra's hands in her own – warm and gentle. "It's made of the same things." She ran her fingers along Korra's forearms. "We feel the same emotions. Our souls are a bit different, but they're still connected. We're all soul mates. A coupling is just one breath of existence reuniting with another. The Avatar is part of the natural order – not above it."

Korra allowed the caresses. "I just think it should go on forever."

"Nothing can go on forever. That's what reincarnation is for – to prevent stagnation. New experiences, new people, new adventures. Two souls might reunite later, like the tide coming back in, but if you fall for someone now, you should love them as passionately as you can. No regrets, and no forced isolation."

Korra leaned in – their foreheads almost touching. "I think fate got it wrong. It sounds like you'd make a much better Avatar than me."

"I suppose every Avatar needs a good adviser," Asami said. "You need someone to remind you of how human you really are. You're not a detached, emotionless deity." Her hands tightened around Korra. "You're here, with me, and you feel no different. You may be tied to your other incarnations, but you're still an individual."

She became aware of how close they'd gotten, and she wasn't sure what to do. She didn't know Asami very well, not yet, but there was a unique type of energy flowing between them, and Korra felt closer to unlocking her chakras than she ever had been before. There was a sense of comfort and harmony. The Avatar, regardless of incarnation, had always been a sucker for gorgeous, dark-haired women. Her new body and its hormones had driven her boy-crazy, but gender didn't matter much to a soul that had spent time in every sort of body and fallen for every sort of person. When there was a spark, it couldn't be denied based on physical appearance.

Korra had broken everything she tried to embrace, though, so she erred on the side of restraint this time. She leaned forward and kissed Asami on the cheek, leaving it at that. For now.


End file.
